


Silent Throne

by Fubukiakiya



Category: Football - Fandom, Football RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-02-04 18:42:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1789234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fubukiakiya/pseuds/Fubukiakiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He once stood on top of the world looking down all beings;<br/>He once fall in the dust, wings cut off;<br/>Couldn't look back, but no road in front...<br/>I want to Play SOCCER!<br/>LET ME PLAY SOCCER!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. That day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Criska](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Criska/gifts).



> I watch soccer for a long time, always liked a couple of players, especially those who are once the best. With sorry and lose, see they age through time, like us loosing our youth. So I wanted to give them the glory belongs to them...When I see Kaka didn't get selected by the national team, I feel very sad, so I come up with a story to make it up to me and the others feel the same way. I don't want to completely change everything even though I love Cristiano with Kaka, so Crist in the story will appear as Kaka's friend.
> 
> I am not that good in English, so please just read it for fun and ignore the terrible grammar and writing mistakes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ricardo never gives up on the hope of playing in the world cup, he needs to do something before its too late.

That day, before the list of the national team came out, he already guess the outcome.

He hasn’t been in the national team for a long time, long enough that he forgets what it feels like to wear the national team jersey.

He almost forgets the feeling of running on the lawn.

“You will be selected!”

His friend said to him in a serious mode before he left.

At that time, he can only force himself to reveal a reserved smile “Yes”

When he decided to go back to San Siro, his father slaps the table and shouts “How can you…”

And he, looked at his father silently, “I want to play in the world cup.”

He is never a good son, a good husband, a good father, he lived for others, loses himself, and this is the only resist he has ever put up with. His father would look at him with disapprove on his face until the transfer season close the curtain.

On the other side of the phone, his friend comfort him “You know what you want; your father will understand it.”

Yes, everyone understands why he is leaving the world’s most famous club, why he go back to the sad place that sold him for money.

But I love it!

No one seems to believe that he truly loves San Siro, love the club that brought him to Europe and support him to be the best of the world. Someone say, in the world of soccer, when a player put his left hand on the club symbol or kiss it, it means he loves here and it is his loyalty. People here call his name again and again, San Siro’s Prince, our golden boy…

Then, in the shouts of people, he had been put on the dock like a commodity to be sold to the highest bidder.

After that, he left being called the traitor to a unfamiliar land.

“We are just a piece, those people can just throw us away like toy.”

That is the friend he met in the giants, a young man who is always fighting.

Compare to his good image in the outside world, his friend always has a tag ‘Combative, Dior, Merry Wild Boy’ on his head. After numerous of victories he fought for the giants, his friend still being called ‘mercenary’ by the fans.

“They are right, I take the money to play, and that is my work ethic.”

After a normal training lesson, they lay on the grass after some more workouts, when he asked about the words of the media and fans, his friend answer him like that.

Pat then, he looks in to the eyes of the friend that is three years younger than he does and finds the color of melancholy.

Right now, he look at himself, and found out how naïve he is even he’s older.

Once the handsome young man, like the aging San Siro now, are too old.

San Siro, my San Siro, you will resurrect through storms and years, I can walk through storm but can escape from time.

The first game after returning, AC Milan faces U.C. Sampdoria, loses 1:0.

The second game, Bologna 3:1

The third game, Atlanta 0:1

The fourth game…

The fifth game…

The sixth game…

Loses more than wining, the fans of San Siro lament, and he becomes more and more silence.

In the morning facing himself in the mirror, he don’t even wanted to shave, just keep it the way t is, the team don’t have a game result, why do he needs his appearance for, do he really wanted to be called ‘The one host in Milan’s ugly team’.

He have heard what the outside are commenting on him, sometimes he really want to spit those who are judging him in the face, but the good upbringing in his bones can’t allow him to be like his friend who can always do what he feels like to do.

Even though he left the club that bring him sorrow, but the friend he made is the best gain.

On the other side of the phone, his friend is always using Portuguese foul language to complain the unfairness of the referees in a way full of spirit. The speech seems as if all depress and anger inside suddenly spilling out made him laugh uncontrollably.

“You are just too polite, you have to fight rough with rough and let them know you are not easy to mess with…”

His friend’s encouragement makes him happy, so he will say “I remember in Bernabeu, every time this kind of things happen is always I’m the one saving you.” which makes his friend wants to hit him.

The courage he gains from his friend kept him to have the strength to keep on fighting.

Champion League group match against Aletico Madrid, AC Milan home then away.

At the home match, he fought his best but can only looks at his teammates who doesn’t have the will to fight in a confuse way.

The red bloody word on the screen can only make him bury his face in his jersey full of sweat.

The annoying sound of the text messages keep sending to his phone made him smash his phone to the wall in the first time of his life.


	2. The Match

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ricardo needs a win, he needs to cheer up his team!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to go slow on this story, it might be a long one, any one find problems in my writing or facts can leave a message and I will try to fix it.  
> Thank you all.

Going back to Madrid, he receives many phone calls.

This city leaves him many happy and sad memories.

Sometimes he thought, if he didn’t choose to come here, will he get away with all the troubling talks.

Time if cruel but fair, not matter who it was, they all can’t escape its imprint.

32, in the human society is still a young age, but in soccer, its puts tag ‘Please Leave’ to the time line.

Probably to get good luck or advised by someone, San Siro’s jersey changed into a ‘Keep Low but Luxurious’ color. Ricardo, who always goes on internet, got lots of message in Chinese about their away shirt saying words he don’t quite understand-- ‘Rural Rich Gold’.

This means ugly or what?

He was a little concerned…

He translated many times but didn’t quite get what it means.

But the ancient oriental people always gives him encouragement and blessing message so he just assumes it’s something good, may in a special way.

His friend’s joyful voice sounds a little bit distortion through the phone, but he means he will secretly go watch the game “…in order not to take over you shining light.” 

Ricardo laughs, “I think it’s because you don’t want to be trapped there and couldn’t get home.”

Go to the home field of the mortal enemy and cheer for the opponent, it needs lots courage.

Flower wearing Ronaldo, I have no solution to save you.

His tease made his friend smash the phone.

Ricardo laughs out loud.

The chat with his friend made him feels more relaxed and calm. In the Away field change room, the atmosphere is very tension and stiff, as today’s captain, Ricardo decides to let the younger team mates relax a bit.

“This change room is more falling apart than the last time I came.”

So he stumps the ground hard, and said in a brisk way.

The younger teammate turns their head, look at their handsome captain. Even though in this season they won but lose more, and with the media criticism, it brings down almost all of their will to fight. Everyone says that if they won today’s game, they can go to the elimination round, and San Siro will rouse, but without their wills, can really win?

As the team’s most famous, once is the best in football, can he leads them?

No one knows…

The only thing they do know is this man is the only man everyone says that are still fighting.

And this shame made them couldn’t have the faith to do anything more.

Most of the times Ricardo doesn’t speak a lot, he isn’t those people who has special leadership temperament, maybe it has to do with his personality and religion. He won’t shout, he won’t roar, he won’t bully, even though he is once the best, he don’t have the domination mood that he should have.

This can only make him to set himself as an example to encourage teammate, but couldn’t use incentive to drive them.

He is just a good man, but not a good captain.

So this time, when he talks, everyone is surprised.

“It’s falling apart?”

Balotelli raise his head to inspect the change room.

Balotelli is a youngster who being put up with high hopes but always letting people down. Its a striker who always maverick no matter on field or not, Ricardo don’t know what he was thinking most of the time but this might be a chance.

“Yes.”

Ricardo looking around the change room, “There used to be cloth pegs, nows gone. Few more lockers are missing here and there, and” Ricardo tries to make his voice as delightful, “the shower water used to have some temperature, but now cold water will just be lucky.”

His modal makes everyone laughs.

“Our Away field change room is pretty bad too but not like this one.”

The vivid Robinho cleverly assist Ricardo’s performance.

“That’s because us and them,” Nocerino winked, “both needs to use the Away field change room.”

Everyone burst out laugh like a comedy.

Yes, the common problem is both teams needs to use the Away field change room, so for their own benefits, they don’t mess in the Away field change room.

Listening to the laughs in the change room, Seedorf opens just little bit of the door, and tell his assistance ‘Nice atmosphere’.

Looks at Robinho and Nocerino, Ricardo have smiles flashed pass his eyes.

“Try hard today.”

Ricardo uses more delighted words to keep everyone excited, “If we take down Atletico, young man, do you all know the biggest feature of San Siro?”

He winked.

As the curiosity of the young teammates are provokes, different kinds of guesses came out and created laughers.

Balotelli could not resist, “Speak up, tell these useless mortals.”

“You are one of the mortals too.”

Polly fought back.

“As smart as I am, I already guessed it, I just want Ricardo to tell you all.”

Balotelli mumbled, doesn’t want to be defeated.

Young people are always dissatisfied by one another, the excitement is wanted but not misunderstanding, “It’s very easy, as you know, every time San Siro goes to champion league it will always be stumping around, but with enough money, we can go to the finals.”

He couldn’t help himself to use one of the ways his friend will express himself, it worked will, young people is more easy to accept.

Most of the team is youngster, when they listen to what Ricardo says, and then think back to the past champion league of San Siro and feel ‘Yeah, it is really true.’

Now the atmosphere really lights up.

Robinho gives Ricardo a grim face, Ricardo smiled to him with gratitude, without Robinho’s help, he really don’t know how to continue.

The assistance opens the door, “Boys, we are going in.”

Looking at the people around the field, the crowd trying to make crazy fans booed to exert the home field advantage. This harsh boos make him feels his miss all of it…

Ricardo turns around his head, trying to focus on the field.

Balotelli just missed the shot again, this is twice already.

With few chances they got being wasted, even Ricardo started to feel angry. But looking at Seedorf at the sideline, he controlled himself and locks the feelings.

When Seedorf becomes the couch, he talked to Ricardo several of time about how things go in the team and it needs his experience to pull together. He needs to stay calm, for victory.

The match is still on, both teams fought over the ball but not fierce. The first half is almost over, now is still 1:1 tie.

The crowd on the grandstand boos again.

Ricardo wipes his sweat off his face and realizes is one of his teammates and the opponent fell down after a collision.

He ran over, first blocked the angry moves his teammates are making, and then went to explain to the referee with the opponent team captain. Maybe the referee though both team has their mistakes, and maybe because both of the captain has a good reputation, he waves he hand telling them to separates their teammates, walked away after warning them.

Ricardo frown a little, he looked at Atletico captain that he knew.

“Maxi, I want you to control you team a bit.”

Rodriguez looks at Ricardo too, even though their club is always enemies, but Ricardo is not the kind of person who unreasonably finds trouble.

“I hope you do the same.”

Both captain look at each other again, and then walks away.


	3. The Veteran

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tonight, Veteran don't die.

Maybe he really isn’t a good leader.

Wipe away the sweat on his face, he glance at the situation on the field.

In the second half, the teammates start the habit of sleepwalking again. Knowing the team is about to fall in to a break down, with the captain band on his arm he don’t know what he need to do to wake up these mental fugue boys.

As the cheer rotates a round and a round, the Home team are giving in all they have.

Ricardo blinked twice and feels chill for no reason.

It’s the coldness from inside his bones, it felt like wearing a shirt and standing on ice and snow without shoes, he is almost frozen.

Looking around, he isn’t able to see the faces of people, he doesn’t want give up, he can’t give up.

A sliding tackle, he gets the ball from the opponent’s feet.

No whistle, no foul, Ricardo quickly get up, rush ahead.

As fast as he realize, he is already in the restricted area, the defending players have blocked all around. He opens his eyes, trying to find a teammate he can pass to, but they are nowhere close to be found.

Right now there are no chances for passing, Ricardo look up to the opponents, he can only move forward alone.

Uses the inside of his right feet to left the ball and poke it through one of his opponent's legs, he swing off the hand on his shirt and head for the second one, go through, and another.

He pants roughly, with thundering heartbeat, he needs this goal, Milan needs this goal, San Siro needs this goal.

But his work turns ashes; the ball is blocked, the opponent's goalkeeper quickly thrown the ball.

Turn around to look; the football has already leapt away to the other side, and the opponent's striker rushing through the field...

Ricardo felt all of his muscles are protesting, protesting his violent use of them. His legs are shaking, he wasn't the man who can take two steps as one across field, and the Milan right now isn't the team that made him proud...

He heard the cheering from the sidelines, he slowly looks up, on the other side, opponent's celebration broke his heart.

And the thing that is sadder is the numbness on his teammates' face.

He tries to look, one by one, looking at them, trying to know if they still wants to fight or not.

Then, he heart sinks down...

Cover up his face, Ricardo ask himself, does this needs to continue?

Can he still have the strength to put up the fight?

ear piercing sounds keep on going, the ridicule make his heart hurt like hell, he beloved team is already dead, his spirit that holds him up are nowhere to be found. Standing here, can he really go on like this?

"Ricardo!"

A familiar voice calls out for him.

He opens his eyes, tries to put on a smile, but in Robinho's eyes, it is clearly a distorted cry.

"It's not too late, we still have time..."

Robinho's comfort didn't even convince himself.

Looking at this match, the gap between the strength of the two team are too obivous. this makes the Milan arm can only painfully suffer losing the goal again and again, the teammates loosing will, just made it happen faster.

In fact, Robinho started to understand what Ricardo thinks, Ricardo didn't just wanted to play in the European Cup, he wanted to impress national team's couch Scolari by his hard working result.

But the reality keeps on breaking this Brazil player's dream.

Apart of this, is because his teammates who can't fight.

So unfortunate!

Robinho didn't get selected, and this is a fact he understands a long time ago, he didn't want to fight for more. But Ricardo is different, he wants to fight, he continues to fight, even when people are forgetting his effort.

Many things said, but it’s just a few second on the field.

Ricardo nodded to Robinho, "I will try harder."

Robinho smiled after a sigh, "Go to the front, I will pass it to you."

Ricardo look at him, the straight fierce eyes made Robinho close his own and open them again, "Ricardo, good luck."

The ball flies over; Ricardo holds off his opponent and gets the ball with a high jump. His head hit the ball, he land on the ground, sees Robbie running towards the ball.  
He goes ahead, passing opponents one by one, he kept on running ahead.

The ball is passed to him, Ricardo got the ball while running, a coordinate of 2 on 1.

With a flip of ankle, the ball is passed back; this time is to the young Polly, who then passed to Robbie. Robbie smiled and rushes forward, passed the ball to the middle line.  
Ricardo got it.

He opens up his arm, glancing at the situation and finds himself the chance.

Hook the ball while leaping, turns around and distracted the opponent; he left his feet to shoot.

The ball flies in the air.

The beautiful arc like a meniscus slide across the sky, fall down to earth.

Ricardo stared at the ball, as his lips curve in to a tender smile.

"Great!"

Robbie jumped on him, shouting while he is on Ricardo's back.

Polly finally shows an energetic smile belongs to his age.

"We need another one."

Ricardo mumbles to himself.

Robbie and Polly laughed after hearing his voice, "Then get another one in."

Kick-off started, Milan team started to gain confidence by helping Ricardo, with a little help, Ricardo is happy already.

In any case, as long as his teammates be a little bit helpful, it’s good enough for him.

But, the cruel reality soon gives them another bat on the head. With the false of their defenders, Aletico scored again.

What else can he say?

Ricardo bits his lips.

Another kick-off, with the help of Robbie and Polly who still know to run, he moves towards the net.

He didn’t want to look at the side lines, don’t want to know why the couch isn’t calling for a change, he can only fight under the support of those in the front.

The ball passes through the feet of these people, Ricardo don’t even have the strength to look at the net, he shoots.

The goalkeeper blocks the ball back, he shoots again.

The punch on the ball seems to be right in his heart.

“Ricardo.”

Robbie calls for him.

Ricardo tries to smile, he is about to break down at any time, but they still needs to catch up 2 goals, 2 goals.

“It’s alright Ricardo, you did your best.”

His teammate helps him stand up, comfort him.

He look at the screen with blankness on his face, the match has already taken eighty six minutes, dour more minute till the match end, and add up the stoppage, it will be about seven minutes.

What can you do in seven minutes?

Ricardo blinked.

Rub off more sweat on his face, he look up to the teammates who all look at him with sympathy in their eyes, he smiled.

“It’s not over yet.”

He mutters to himself, “It’s not over yet.”

“Ricardo!”

Robbie has this worry in his voice.

“It’s our ball.”

Robbie nodded and went to the middle after giving Ricardo a comforting touch on the shoulder.

Ricardo stands outside of Aletico’s big restricted area, stared at the net.

There, is his finish line, and also his starting line, he can’t give up.

The ball comes towards him, he blocked the opponent and got the ball, the body contact between he and the opponent almost knock him on the ground but he kept running.  
In his eyes, he can only see the big and white frame.

With raising feet, he is kicked on the ground. He take some breathe, and he stand up again.

“Start the ball!”

He roars.

The ball is in the air again, he watches the ball coming toward him, and he jump as high as he can.

The ball slide down his chest to the back of his feet, he lift the ball, and headed forward again.

The stadium suddenly is quiet, everyone watch as the veteran fall down and gets up again in a repeating pattern. He fight, he give it all in.

The audience starts to clap, first just a few, but then the whole stadium was full of it.

They clap in rhythms, but as loud as they could, for the veteran’s fight.

But Ricardo couldn’t hear a thing, the only thing he knows is to score, he wants to score.

Tonight, Veteran don’t die.


	4. Work Harder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ricardo realize that he needs to work even harder than he already have in a team that everyone gives up.

Playing ‘Renascer Praise’s Promise’ in his earphones, he set it to loop, every time he listen to this beautiful gospel rhythm, it can make his mind gradually calm down.

The singing repeat again and again, cleaning his mind.

March 16, the 28th round, AC Milan VS Parma.

When it’s about time, he opens his eye and looked at the teammates around him.

“We already losing streak in the league, currently ranked behind.” Ricardo makes it straight, “We might not get anything, we can’t even get top six so don’t mention top three. I want you all to understand, we can lose but not because of weak and didn’t try to fight. For the next season, we…” Ricardo paused when he said it, after a few second, he continued, “and maybe some of us will not be in Milan the next season, but you know, showing the new club what you are able to do in the old one to gain more benefits.”  
Ricardo stood, walk out of the door.

Seedorf is standing outside of the change room with a black coat perfectly shows the body he work out well.

“You finally become more like a captain.”

He said.

Silently look at him, Ricardo had a wry smile on his face.

“Really?”

“Leaders are hard to be.”

“Yes.”

“This game,” Seedorf looks at him, “is still winning less and losing more.”

“As a couch, you shouldn’t say that.”

“Because of them?” Seedorf peek through the window of the change room, “They lose the will to fight a long time ago.”

“Then why do you come back?”

“Because, this is San Siro.” Seedorf finally get a smile on his face, “I can’t resist them.”

“Is it?”

Ricardo close his eyes for a while then open them again, “It’s a big wash, huh…”

Even though his voice is so quiet, but Seedorf still heard it. He looks at the side of Ricardo’s face, the beautiful bright young man who smiled like sunshine now aged and become someone with depress and sorrow all over his face. He felt this person in front of him will more likely to become the soul of San Siro.

“I hope to continue to work with you.”

Seedorf walks away after throwing this sentence at Ricardo.

Looked at his back, Ricardo looks down to the logo on his chest, San Siro.

Opening game…

Then, after the game just started five minute, Cassano passes the ball across, Abbiati uproot Schlotto on the restricted line while Schlotto is receiving. The referee ran over, gives a red card and a penalty without saying a word.

Ricardo tries to plead but the referee insists, the situation is not good. Seedorf asks for change, Amelia for Essien.

Cassano’s penalty kicked right in the net, Parma 1-0 lead.

Ricardo pats his palm to encourage the rest, “Be calm, and there’s still a long time left, paying attention defending.”

Looking at Ricardo’s commanding in the field, Seedorf nodded, and said to his assistant “He is mature now.”

The match continued, 17 minute of the first half, Balotelli works with Polly to try get a goal but fails, its Milan’s corner.

Ricardo kicks the ball at the point of the restricted area, and Polly jumps up to bump the ball to the mid line. Balotelli shoots in a close range, but the ball ended up out of the boundary after hitting the pole.

Ricardo looks at the net that keeps rejecting him in a unfortunate way, then calls out to his teammate to fall back.

Both of the team play carefully, but with a person missing on Milan’s field, defending is very intense. On the 26 minute, Cassano shoots, the ball flied above the net, Milan’s net is save once more.

When it gets to the 29 minute, Bonera gets a red card after pulling Schlotto, Pamra got a penalty on the right outside of the restricted area.

When the penalty started, Cassano kicked the ball on Montolivo’s face. This is not the first time, at the 37 minute, when Montolivo trying to block Pamra’s player from the side, he once again being hit with the ball on the face.

The tension grows between the Milan players. The defending ties their hand and feet, and the mental tightness make them go out of place when defending. Mexes got a yellow card at the 40 minute because of tripping Cassano and his move after just becomes rougher. He then almost got an own goal, thanks to Amelia who reacted fast enough.

During the Intermission, Seedorf just mention to them that they need to work on their defence, without a word of tactical adjustments.

Ricardo raises his head for a few second, and then lowers them down.

He knows what they club means, that many of the player here will be clean out after this season, the rest is not for them to care.

But I don’t want it to end this way.

Ricardo clenched his hands, with his nails tightening in his grip, and the slight pain makes him bite his lips.

I don’t want to.

Not long after the second half started, Pamra got another one in, 2-0 Pamra leads.

Ricardo turns around, he saw excited Cassano run to the side line and grabbed his couch's head in his arm, that true happiness from heart makes Cassano's face very honourable.

He suddenly remember a long time ago, Cassano always being referred as the bad kid who's head is not working probably. He fight with his teammates in training, curse his couch as idiot, refuse to go to training when he wasn't happy, and wanted to go to the national team but always gets rejected. Now, this overbearing young man has grown too, he is more mature now.

Time goes fast and it can destroy or forge you. The only thing you need is to have a steady will.

When the match reach 56 minutes, Ricardo starts a high air ball in the corner to Lamy who just been replace on. Lamy jumps high and swing head, the first goal for Milan.

The 61 minute, Balotelli front court free kick is slant towards right.

The 63 minute, Amauri replaced Cassano.

The 65 minute, Seedorf replaced Bonera with Pacini.

The 73 minute, Pamra's Obi knocks down Montolivo in the restricked area, referee gives Milan a penalty. Balotelli kicked the ball in.

Both teams are at tie.

Ricardo looks at the time. There are still some time left, and tie is not safe, it will be best to get another goal.

But just three minutes after the tie, Pamra's Schlotto passed the ball in front of Milan's net and Amauri kicked it in with the back of his foot. Pamra in lead 3-2.

With 10 member on the field and all are about to fall apart towards the end, Ricardo really wants to swear, but his anger inside him can't be released.

The 82 minute, Milan's Lamy got a yellow card after uprooting Amauri.

This means, next game there are three of them who can't play and Milan really lacks of people.

Ricardo bites his lips, and raises his hand asking for the ball.

The time is almost over, and Milan finally got a front court free kick. Balotelli passed the ball in front of the net, Polly shoots but Pamra's keeper Mirante punched it out. Ricardo sees a chance so he ran towards the ball and kicked a spoon.

The ball went in.

The fourth referee raises the stoppage board, five minute.

Ricardo shouted, "Pass!"

Polly looked at his in surprise than passed the ball to Ricardo.

Using Brazil's little show tricks, Ricardo passed the defending play and headed towards the net.

After avoiding a uprooting, Ricardo looks in front of him. Mirante stoop with open arms, maybe he thinks Ricardo is too far away, so his attention is on Balotelli.  
Then shoot...

Thirty two meters away, he kicks the ball as hard as he can.


End file.
